Intentions: The Balance Between Doing Right and Being Right in Everyday Life
- Renee Montague
- Jul 12
- 4 min read
Every day, people face choices that test their values and priorities. Sometimes, the challenge is not just about what is right but whether to focus on doing right or on being right. These two ideas might seem similar, but they often lead to very different outcomes in relationships, work, and personal growth. Understanding how to balance these can improve how we interact with others and how we feel about ourselves.
What It Means to Do Right
Doing right means acting with kindness, fairness, and respect toward others. It focuses on the impact of our actions rather than proving a point or winning an argument. When someone chooses to do right, they prioritize the well-being of others and the situation over their own ego or need to be correct.
For example, imagine a disagreement between two friends about a small mistake. Choosing to do right might mean forgiving the mistake and moving forward without insisting on being proven correct. This approach builds trust and strengthens the relationship.
Key Characteristics of Doing Right
Empathy: Understanding others’ feelings and perspectives.
Humility: Accepting that being right is less important than harmony.
Compassion: Acting to help or support others even if it means personal sacrifice.
Focus on outcomes: Prioritizing solutions that benefit everyone involved.
What It Means to Be Right
Being right focuses on correctness and proving one's point. It often involves defending one’s opinions, beliefs, or actions, sometimes at the expense of others’ feelings or relationships. While standing up for truth and facts is important, an excessive need to be right can create conflict and distance.
For instance, in a workplace meeting, insisting on being right about a project detail might delay progress or cause tension among team members. Sometimes, the need to be right comes from a desire for control or recognition rather than genuine concern for the issue.
Key Characteristics of Being Right
Assertiveness: Firmly stating one’s position.
Confidence: Belief in the correctness of one’s views.
Focus on facts: Prioritizing accuracy and truth.
Potential for conflict: Risk of alienating others if not balanced with respect.
How Intentions Shape Our Choices
Intentions guide whether we lean toward doing right or being right. When intentions are clear and positive, they help us choose actions that align with our values and the greater good. For example, if your intention is to maintain a healthy relationship, you might choose to do right by listening and compromising rather than insisting on being right.
On the other hand, if your intention is to prove your intelligence or superiority, you might focus on being right even if it harms others. Recognizing our intentions helps us understand why we act the way we do and how to adjust our behavior for better outcomes.
Practical Ways to Balance Doing Right and Being Right
Balancing these two approaches requires self-awareness and practice. Here are some practical steps to help find that balance:
Pause before responding: Take a moment to consider your intention. Are you trying to help or just prove a point?
Listen actively: Focus on understanding the other person’s perspective rather than preparing your rebuttal.
Choose your battles: Not every situation requires you to be right. Decide when it matters most.
Express your views respectfully: Share your thoughts without dismissing others.
Seek common ground: Look for solutions that satisfy both sides.
Reflect on outcomes: After a conflict, think about whether your actions helped or hurt the relationship.
Examples from Everyday Life
Family Discussions
The desire to be right, especially on sensitive topics, can cause arguments in family conversations. Choosing to do right might mean acknowledging others’ feelings and agreeing to disagree. For example, parents and teenagers often clash over rules. Parents who focus on doing right listen and explain their reasons calmly, while teenagers who want to be right may argue loudly. Balancing these helps maintain respect and understanding.
Workplace Conflicts
At work, being right can sometimes lead to competition rather than collaboration. A team member who insists on their method might slow down progress. Instead, focusing on doing right means considering the team’s goals and being open to others’ ideas. This approach fosters cooperation and innovation.
Friendships
Friends may disagree on opinions or plans. Insisting on being right can create distance, while doing right involves valuing the friendship over winning an argument. For example, if a friend forgets a meeting, choosing to do right means forgiving and rescheduling rather than holding a grudge.
The Role of Intentions in Personal Growth
Balancing doing right and being right also supports personal growth. When intentions focus on learning and connection, people become more adaptable and open-minded. This mindset reduces stress and improves emotional intelligence.
For example, a person who intends to grow might accept feedback without defensiveness, even if it challenges their beliefs. This openness leads to better decisions and stronger relationships.
Challenges in Balancing Doing Right and Being Right
This balance is not always easy. Emotions, pride, and past experiences can push people toward needing to be right. Cultural and social factors also influence how people view conflict and correctness.
Recognizing these challenges helps us be patient with ourselves and others. It also encourages seeking support, such as counseling or communication training, when needed.
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